Overcoming emotional eating and having that ‘oh shit – I need to change moment’
Do you eat and then think, ‘fuck it I’m fat and ugly might as well just eat another cake’.
I hope not but you might do, it’s surprisingly common which is why 55% of the UK is obese, which is a very scary stat.
This ‘fuck it effect’ has been studied by psychologists, it’s a powerful effect and it becomes more powerful with low self esteem, low confidence and low self-worth, it’s a vicious downward cycle.
The chances are you know you do this, but you feel so terrible about yourself that you think ‘stuff it’, which is obviously very dangerous, especially in terms of weight gain or negative health activities, it can quite easily be that you end up putting on 20 kgs or more and not even really noticing – side Note : You’ll be very surprised that most overweight/obese clients I have had, just didn’t realise the extent of their size, they knew were carrying a bit more fat than before but just didn’t realise they were obese, it’s like the brain switches off the power to realise, and then when you do notice, guess what happens? ‘fuck it I’m fat now anyway so what’s the point in changing?’ and the vicious cycle gets a little bit more vicious and hurtful.
Once you get into this vicious cycle there is very little you can do until 2 things happen; One, you have that moment where you pull out that old dress you like, the old suit you would wear, you see yourself in an old photo, a shop window that you haven’t been in a while, you read a blog like this, something happens where your brain suddenly clicks and ‘wow I need to change’ comes to mind, without that moment it’s very difficult to find the necessity to change, I know several people who are/were obese and tried to force the diet, tried to start something and have fallen off it even harder and ended more overweight than before.
Two; Someone gets you help and you ACCEPT it – people really don’t like accepting help, it hurts their pride, it makes them feel like they’re doing something wrong, EVERYONE needs help, EVERYONE needs accountability, I don’t care who you are or what you do, you need a coach/mentor, every single person on this planet needs help from someone. It isn’t a bad thing help if you accept it, believe it or not is helpful!
That ‘I need to change’ moment can be subtle but once you feel it once you need to pounce then! If you say it to a friend/family member then they have to take responsibility and make you realise what you just said, get you to seek help, help you as much as possible, make them or you see the potential damage you are doing to your body, so you can get the professional help, if you can’t afford it, then support you with finding a sustainable, diet that doesn’t tell you to limit your Sins or doesn’t give food points and makes you feel guilty for eating something, something you enjoy and something that makes you feel better.
There has to be a level of bluntness to the conversation, you can’t beat around the bush and try to make it as cuddly and warm as possible, there has to be a level of ‘you’re obese, you need help, I will help you as much as possible, you just said you want to change so let’s do this, what can I do to help?’ whether that’s you saying it, your friend, family.
It isn’t nice to say or hear but you or they will hear and listen to it, what won’t help is if they/you say ‘I think you're slightly overweight, I love you the way you are I just want the best for you, why don’t you do something, your still beautiful to me’ – All your brain hears is ‘you love me, I’m beautiful, okay cool so I’m obese but I’m still loved and I still ‘belong’ so no need to change’
If you are going through this now, continue to speak to people, have open and free conversations about your journey, if anyone is negative about it then leave them behind, unfriend them, stay in contact with as many positive and supportive people as you can, DO NOT isolate yourself, no matter how crap you feel inside you need to keep and stay around people, they will honestly be the foundations for you to grow from.
You need to rediscover your food, stop doing yo yo or fad diets, stop looking for quick fixes and magic pills, you need to get in the gym, change 1 thing with your diet this week, that’s all just 1 thing. Then week 2 change something and week 3 change another, and keep going until your day-to-day diet is full of fruit and veg, high protein still has some foods you like so you don’t lose your mind and you are in a calorie deficit, that’s the most important thing.
Then you have to set yourself weekly, monthly, quarterly, bi-yearly and yearly goals, very specific with the reason why you want to achieve then, it has to the be something that means something to YOU, for example ‘I want to look good for the ‘Gram’ isn’t a goal,
‘I want to be able to walk down the beach when I go to Egypt in a year’s time in a bikini. I want to do and feel confident, sexy and strong’ - now that is a goal!
It is time specific, it has your emotions.
There will be a time when the ‘Fuck it effect’ will come and kick you in arse but you need to accept that that day was ‘bad’ the sun has got up the next day so do you, it’s a new day and that requires new effort, you make today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today, and you just keep going.
One massive thing you can do is fail at something – go and find something you are terrible at! I’ve just started to try to learn the harmonica! I sound terrible, but I keep going, I learn new lifts, I fail I keep going and learning, embrace failing, look at why you failed and go again, and again and again, just keep learning and failing and once you succeed hold on to that feeling or pride, of confidence and use it to again make tomorrow better than today!!
I really hope this helps you or your friend, I know this is a paid blog but please if you think this would help someone, then please just ask and I’ll be more than happy to send it to them, just ask!
Also please comment, if you like this or you want to ask something, please drop a comment!
Have a great today and better tomorrow!
The Main Author is Dan Grimes, Guest authors will be posting too.